A friend of mine has asked me to review the wine he made in his dad's garage in Menai, NSW. Apart from watching an instructional Youtube video, he has no winemaking experience whatsoever. My sample arrived in the mail today, so here goes...
- Crimson Seedless (hand-harvested from the discount bin at Menai IGA Supermarket)
- Crushed by hand
- Inoculated with baker's yeast
- "Shitloads" of sodium metabisulphite added
- Sugar added
- Lime leaves added (yes, lime leaves)
- No fining or filtration
- Bottled in James Squire stubbies
The wine's colour resembles Charlie Sheen's urine on a Monday morning, or perhaps the discharge from a leaky anus on Embarrassing Bodies. Not only is the colour somewhat off-putting, but the haze makes me think that Stifler was the assistant winemaker.
Thankfully I survived this experience, and as they say, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I wonder if that saying also applies to my friend, after I bludgeon him to within an inch of his life with an empty James Squire stubbie for making me drink this offensive vin ordinaire.